Leslie off the FM

no, seriously, it’s been a while since i blogged. i’m sitting at a starbucks in northampton, massachussetts procrastinating getting some work done. wanna know what work is today?

i have to edit down some audio from a recent interview with a new band, Sixteen Cities. they’re not really known. to me they sound a little like mae. if you don’t know who mae is, um, youtube? yeah, youtube.

so yeah, my assignment is to edit. and now i have the sudden thought of “what if i attempt at multi-tasking and do show-prep annnnd blog at the same time? hmmm…” i guess i could give it a shot.

radio is more hardcore than i ever thought. but it’s fun hardcore work. hardcore meaning, you gotta be creative. i thought i was creative but radio’s showed me i’m like an oil mine. did i spell that right? ah well, you know how the beverly hill billies struck oil and then became super rich? creativity’s like that. it’s awesome when you strike it. it can happen every day or not. doesn’t really make me physically rich but i’m the child of a King so i’m already filthy rich. Jesus. HE hooks you up. may not always look like it on the outside if you’ve got this “barely making it” thing going on, but when you choose to surrender what’s most dear to you than Him, there’s reward.

abraham was the first guy that did this. God was like, “cool, my boy abraham’s so in love with me, he believes Me, he’ll do anything for me, let’s see if he loves Me more than anything on this earth….” so God told abraham to sacrifice his only son, isaac. ouch! really?! really, God?!! yeah. REALLY.

so abraham, though in pain over it, did it because He loved and believed God and trusted Him more than anything on this earth. so much that he was willing to sacrifice his son. and a true testamint of that was that isaac was willing to climb onto the altar to be sacrificed. i mean, who does that?! “sure pops! i’ll hop onto the altar so you can butcher me as a sacrifice for God!”  the kid had to somehow have known his dad had a seriously legit relationship with God.

when God saw that abraham was gonna foreal kill his own son for Him, God sent an angel to be like “woah there cowboy! don’t do it!” so God saw that abraham loved Him more than anything on this earth, even more than his own son. Abraham believed God and was obedient so God honored that.  that’s legit.

i know it seems far-fetched but i wanna love/believe/trust God that way. don’t worry, i’m not gonna go all taliban on you. killing people for the “sake of God.” but to surrender what’s most dear. that’s tough.  i remember doing that with my radio dream. i gave it up. it was so hard. tore my heart apart. i was broken because i loved my dream so much and it was disappointing me.  my dream wasn’t lovin’ me back.  so i retraced my steps…God first.   “God, i give up! i don’t care what you have me do! if it’s not radio, fine! just use me!!”  i didn’t wanna live life without God.  i believe God always knows what’s best for us.

i even pitched the idea to God about how i didn’t care if he made me to be a plumber. i just wanted to do what i was made to do. i really don’t have a passion for plumbing though. i just was so desperate.

may we stay in a state of desperation after God’s heart.

amen.