Leslie off the FM

Having the Christmas blues is like the chicken pox. You hear of people catching it at different stages of life & wonder if you caught it when you were too young to remember or maybe you’ll catch it someday, or never… That’s what i guess i assumed about the christmas blues. How could there be sadness in Christmas? Jesus is the reason for the season…its not an actual Bible verse but maybe in the message translation you could find it in Mary’s song after hearing from the angel Gabe that she was chosen to be the home of Jesus for 9 months…. She wasnt some supermodel…nor was she some highly esteemed chick…she was your girl next door…but in her heart and in her mind she had it settled that she was made to serve God & His purposes no matter what the cost. She was cool with it even though she didnt get it at first, being a virgin…but she was willing__not a rockstar. Tonigt i wept because i put myself in her shoes. With whatever God’s called us to do, its not gonna be a smooth road…it costs. Sometimes i wanna quit. “God, im not worthy…im too messed up…i have sooo much to overcome…im not anything special…im not a big deal….not pretty enough…gifted enough…” the list goes on…& how many of those are lies? Tonight i realize mary had a choice. She was human so she couldve flipped out on angel gabe but instead she knew who she was made for & where her significance was in…no matter what the call had been, she was chosen by God. She knew above all that God loved her. So Im blue because i really struggle to see/believe how mary did back on that day…& somethin cool my pastor brought up was that even after giving birth to Jesus she didnt give him a “peaceout, i did my good deed for eternity…”she continued her faith walk…reminds me of that verse”never grow weary of doing good…” i feel like i grew weary a long time ago, working at sbux & volunteering my butt off for wayfm…working for mere man gets tiring & you feel cheated…but if you keep yours eyes on Jesus, everything for the one who chose you, it doesnt get old. Time to get my eyes, my heart back on track…no matter what the cost..even if it means catching a little Christmas blues..