journaling
i think i’m more tumblr-ing than journaling these days…it is what it is.
okay so i’m on this prayer kick.
if you don’t know, we like had this badazz blizzard last saturday and it caused lots of damage….millions or thousands without power…worse than hurricane irene damage…yep…
so to help people keep warm because it’s so cold out, we opened up our cafe for a few hours from wed. to friday…only about 3 families came and it was like one a day…but those people were worth it…
one of them was this lady who was sooo worn with having no power on top off being on the brink of divorce and her husband unloving their gay son. and she’s got a bad back and bad leg stuff going on…
lots on her plate.
so there she was. crying to us about how her husband doesn’t love her and he doesn’t want her. he makes fun of her belief in Jesus…her gay son obviously doesn’t feel the love from his dad so he’s out most of time spending the night at his boyfriend’s….
the whole family’s a mess.
but it was so neat to be able to speak life and hope over her. to listen to her and pray with her was awesome!!! praying for her was what set me off this past yesterday! man, i was prayin’ for her like it was life or death! i don’t know how the passion came but it did…i just closed my eyes really tight and i feel like i was praying God’s heart for her….warring for her…fighting for her…
makin’ war on the floor.
sounds wacky but it’s the truth. i love this. i did this with some girls at an event in plymouth, ma. and so anyway, after praying for this lady, i ended up prayin’ for my co-worker, then this other lady that walked into our cafe and then this volunteer and then tonight, i got to pray for my friend nicole’s foot.
i always feel so honored and special to be able to pray for somebody on the spot. it’s so cool because it’s unscripted. ha! seriously, it has to be God’s heart. i wanna keep doing this. it makes me feel alive. i love it. i was made for it. praying for people and then seeing God answer prayer is awesome!!!
but here’s the weird thing. when i’m by myself, it’s not as enjoyable to pray. it’s not as easy flowin’…but when there’s someone to pray for on the spot and in person, prayer’s flyin! doesn’t make sense. maybe i need to exercise prayer more on my own. maybe that’ll help me have God’s heart for people more often.
wanna know something else that’s neat that’s sort of connecting the dots with all this??? okay, back when i was an intern in nashville about 5 years ago, i told my friend nicki that i felt like God was gonna use me to speak in front of lots of people and that i could see myself on stage and stretching out my hands over lots of young people….so nicki drew me a picture of that vision as a christmas gift…and this past week i just happened to glance over it and started looking at it, all the details…nicki drew crowds of people, me on my knees on a stage with my head down and my hands stretched out on people and then she wrote out all these life-giving verses over me and the crowds….so random that i happened to be checking it out this week and all this prayer stuff is unfolding…i wonder what God is doing…and then this book in my boss’s office popped out to me…it’s titled, “passion for JEsus” by a guy named mike bickle (a dude i thought might be wacky because he started this prayer thing called international house of prayer and loopy people come from there sometimes) and i started reading it…it’s really honest and good so far…nothing loopy yet…we shall see…i’ll let you know if the dude’s loopy…
i’m done with loopy christianity. i just want the real deal. Jesus.
